Email signatures from hell

When I was a developer, I used to mainly exchange emails with fellow developers and my email signature was usually “Laurent”. Short, concise, simple: in fact, I used to actually type it by hand instead of telling my mail client to automatically generate it for me (crazy huh ?).

And then, I started working with managers, marketers & consultants and these guys – especially consultants – heavily use the “automatic e-mail signature appending” feature of their email client. Have you already received e-mails where the signature was even longer that the mail itself ? Welcome to my world !

I’ve gathered some of these emails: the sender name/company name/telephone numbers have been changed to protect the guilty, but apart from that, these signatures are 100% legit.

First the short one: name – title – company – address – telephone – web site. That’s a total of 6 lines: rating = 9/10.

Then, you have people that really, really, really want to make sure that you can reach them. In this example, we have a total of 12 lines: rating = 5/10.

Some people solve this “multiple numbers” issue by having multiple numbers on the same line. Here we have a total of 5 lines: rating = 8/10.

 

Now if you think that it’s almost impossible to reach 5/10, just include a footer that no one will read and you have a winner ! In this example, the company address is not mentioned and the office + mobile numbers are grouped on a single line: a good start !

Alas, the 6 lines footer results in a 12 lines email signature. Rating = 5/10.

To go below the 5/10 rating, you have to be creative. Like this one where the footer is 7 lines long (that’s longer that the full signature used as my first example), and where the author happily adds a link to the product he’s in charge of. This gives us a total of  15 lines for a rating of 3/10.

And now ladies and gentlemen, the clear winner with its unique combo of name – title – company name – address – office/fax number – website – upcoming company events and 10 lines footer for a total of 25 lines and a rating of 1/10.

Laurent KUBASKI

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About lkubaski
www.kubaski.com

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